Trolls Suck - Jeff The Killer

Jeff flopped down on the couch and reached languidly for the remote. He picked up the black piece of rectangular plastic and pressed the power button, and soon his TV flickered to life. The news came on, and the newscaster said, "Today, the dead body of John Doe was found in a dumpster by the Haven Nightclub. Numerous stab wounds were found on his mutilated body." Jeff laughed, and yelled, "YEAH, BITCH! THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR SWINDLING ME!" Jeff laughed maniacally before calming down. He sat through 20 boring minutes of the news, and then he turned the TV off. "Time for internets."

He walked into his room, and shut the door. Smile stretched out and yawned. The dog rolled onto its side and fell back asleep. Jeff sat down behind his computer desk, and logged onto a chat site he frequented. "Well, this should be entertaining." He joined as "JTK", a common name he used. Nobody really knew what it stood for (except himself, of course), and he struck up a conversation with several other users, and laughed at their stories.

*** JeffFuckingSucks has entered the room

Jeff raised an eyebrow at this, but merrily went on anyway. A few moments later, this appeared on Jeff's screen.

JeffFuckingSucks: Jeff the Killer sucks. He really, really sucks.
JTK: Really? I don't think Jeff would like that.
JFS: Well, Jeff can suck my long hairy...

This made Jeff's eyebrow twitch, and he entered a PM with the offender.

JTK: Dude, what's your problem?
JFS: My problem is you, tweezer-dick.
JTK: Okay, that was unoriginal, but carry on, citizen.
JFS: Wow, you think you're funny. I know you're Jeff the Killer, bro.
JTK: So? Nobody here really cares.
JFS: I do, you're just a blood-loving freak who probably cuts himself for amusement. Emo faggot.
JTK: Okay, I do cut other people, but not myself. I'm not a walking stereotype, douchebag.
JFS: Really? Remember that time I T-bagged you in Halo?
JTK: That's a bit too much.
JFS: Problem?
JTK: Yep.
JFS: Come at me, bro.
JTK: Trust me, I will.

That night, Jeff found the troll, and the troll screamed. "D-damn, man, I didn't think you would come for me!" Jeff, knife in hand, showed his trademark smile, and said, "Don't mess with El Jefe, then."

STAB.